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I’ve been on a quest lately that has nothing to do with crochet. I wanted to share my adventures with you, but thought, “How can I link this to crochet?” It didn’t take long for me to turn to the work horse of crochet, the beginner’s friend, the little square that’s really hip. Crocheters, you know what I’m talking about: the granny square!

Making the granny square

Here’s an intro courtesy of Kathryn Vercillo, crochet artist extraordinaire (who probably has not written about granny panties) and Craftsy, an excellent resource for all things crafty and yarn-related.

Confession: I don’t think I have ever made anything with granny squares, but I’ve seen some gorgeous patterns for hats, bags and scarves that are built around one or several granny squares. I have to admit, I’m a little intimidated by the process of making the squares and then having to put the squares together in order to be really done. Yes, I’m impatient sometimes.

I have, however, purchased two vintage, handmade granny square afghans. These were made in the days of non-trendy colors (no Pantone here) with yarn that was either wool (one I bought is nicely felted and weighs a ton) or orlon (remember this early scratchy acrylic?). I love the bright oranges, variegated reds, deep purples, Pepto Bismol pinks and pea greens. Many of these colors are hard to find today.  The afghan below was discovered at the Goodwill Outlet and purchased for the amazing sum of $2 or so. I love how the yarns have “fuzzed” together and the colors, while still vibrant, have softened.

Check out the Craftsy link above to learn the basics of the granny square as well as some tips to take it to the next level.

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My Goodwill Outlet granny square afghan.

My adventure (aka: something that distracts me from the real work I need to be doing.)

If there were a panty scale with 0 being “thong/bondage” and 10 being “diaper”, I would put my need at a 6 or so. I want comfort. I want some style. A little sexiness wouldn’t hurt. I want a crotch and I want the rear-end covered. They don’t need to be edible. Based on this need and recently hearing “granny panty” used on a fashion blog*, I figured there must be some option out there that would fill the bill. So far, I’m wrong, but I’m just getting started.

A Google search for “sexy granny panties” returned “About 1,440,000” results. I didn’t look at all of them, but here’s the first one (for real). Not the granny panty I had in mind.

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Uh, no. Putting the Golden Girls on the ass doesn’t make these granny panties..

OK, enough with the granny panties (I hear you. It’s my problem, no yours). The search for comfy underwear continues. I know they’re out there; that’s not the problem. Accepting the fact that I am actually searching for granny panties is difficult. There are so many daily indignities that hit around age 65, that I’ve given up counting. Still, I’m vertical (most of the time), in good health and have survived 100% of my days so far. That’s an excellent track record, I’d say.

Disclaimer: The granny panty adventure is not a ploy to get more hits on my blog. This is probably the last time I will write about underwear, so if that’s the only reason you are here, move on. It’s a crochet blog, for cryin’ out loud! (Just managing expectations.)

*Apparently it’s a look to wear bright-colored granny panties under sheer (very sheer) skirts. Note: A model-thin, 20-year-old body helps immensely. I’m all for wearing what you want at any age, but this would just be strange/illegal on a lumpy 65-year-old.

So long for now. As usual, any and all comments are welcome (be nice, though).

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2 thoughts on “Granny Squares & Granny Panties

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