Do you ever have one of those days when the things you normally enjoy just seem boring? Reading? Nah, nothing good. Crochet? Not feeling it. Social media? Too tempting; might be part of my problem. Netflix? Too many choices! Get outside? Yard is squishy. See if that pair of jeans fits yet? Well, OK. That’s scary, but at least I’m up and moving. And so it began: The great early-spring purge.

Jeans snap and zipper closeup StorylineCreations

These are the corduroy jeans that tried to kill me. The button is buttoned, the zipper is up, but just barely.

First, the bad news. The jeans test was a flop. If I’m being honest, they’re tighter than the last time I optimistically tried them on. But, they went over the thighs and belly, the zipper went up, and the button buttoned–barely. I decided to wear them around the house to see if, number one, they would stretch. Since these were made in the 90s from corduroy and were not tempered by a bit of spandex/lycra stretch as you will find in most jeans, khakis, and cords today, it was sheer lunacy on my part to assume body heat and fat would work some magic.

I bustled around for an hour or two, the corduroy fabric making the inner thighs sing, while the waistband made my stomach ache. I was audibly reminded that had I ever had the desirable inner-thigh gap, it was well closed up now. There was no real or imagined loosening. My beloved jeans did not stretch. They tried to kill me. Still, being the Charlie Brown of unrealistic expectations that I am (hold the ball Lucy!), I folded them up and put them back in the closet. “They’ll fit the next time I try them on because I’m going to really focus on losing a few pounds. And maybe I’ll start a planking habit, and maybe I’ll give up whiskey and Fritos, and maybe I’ll eat more fiber!” I know, I should just thank these cords for their service, admit the past is past, and say adios, but…someday, who knows.

Next up, getting rid of old work clothes. Black blazers were a staple when I was still working, so I have quite a collection. Some good, some not so good. Luckily, there is a charity in town–Clothes that Work--that will accept gently used professional attire to help those with limited means prepare for a job interview. They do great work, and I’m hoping what I’ve purged will be acceptable. That process was pretty easy, though I did try on every jacket on the off chance they would make me look young and trim again. They did not. Bye bye blazers.

fullsizeoutput_594.jpegFinally, the attack of the blanket scarf (above) continues, though my adversary seems a little weaker after my ordeal last week. (It looks so innocent in the photo above, but don’t be fooled). I really don’t want to give it away, so I’m going to give it one more chance tonight to stop that incessant shedding when we go out with friends. For a true test, I’ll be wearing the same black turtleneck that this scarf previously coated in polyester/acrylic fuzz. If this scarf could laugh (and I think it’s possible since it may be possessed), it would be highly amused by my naivete. But, they don’t call me Charlie Brown for nothin’.

So long ’til next time, folks. I’ll be sharing my practice embroidery swatch (prepare to feel sorry for me), some vintage clothing finds buried in my closet, and crochet, of course.

If you can find it in your heart, take a minute to like and follow me–Storyline Creations— on Facebook



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